


but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now

by MercuryWaters



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anyways, Coda, Fix-It, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Requited Love, Sharing a Bed, bc that's what my children deserved, because I refuse to believe 15x20 is real, because it had to be done, canon compliant up until 15x20, mild roasting of sam's wig, wrote this to cope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:54:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27679700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercuryWaters/pseuds/MercuryWaters
Summary: Dean felt his eyes spring open. Finally, finally, something had broken through to him. Rescued him from his misery.He shot up, a cold sweat settling over his skin in an uncomfortable sheen. He was sitting in his bed at the bunker, the sheets falling to his lap and pooling there. His breathing was erratic, still lost in whatever hell he had just experienced.“Dean?”At the familiar, desperately missed voice, Dean’s head shot to his left.And there, miraculously, his angel sat. He could feel tears beginning to form in sheer relief and elation at the mere sight of him.(Or, the entire series finale was just a terrible nightmare... as it is in my brain)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 124





	but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now

**Author's Note:**

> I seriously commend every fic writer who has managed to work with what the finale gave us, but my inclination is to treat the entire thing like a wild fever dream and pretend it never happened! so, this is that. I also haven't written in approximately 500 years, and this was written in a rush, so I'm sorry in advance!
> 
> title from shrike by hozier

“Dean.”

_This couldn’t be happening. Dean felt panic rise in his chest as he took in his surroundings. This—this was all wrong._

“Dean, wake up!”

_No, no, no! He banged his fist against the dashboard in frustration. Please, no._

“Dean, open your eyes!”

_Nothing about this made sense. This wasn’t how things were supposed to happen._

_He was supposed to find Cas, get him out of the Empty, tell him he loved him, and live out the rest of his days peacefully by his side._

_He wasn’t supposed to die mere weeks after Cas had sacrificed himself to save him. Sam wasn’t supposed to grow old alone. Dean felt sick to his stomach._

“Dean, please! Please, wake up.”

Dean felt his eyes spring open. Finally, finally, something had broken through to him. Rescued him from his misery.

He shot up, a cold sweat settling over his skin in an uncomfortable sheen. He was sitting in his bed at the bunker, the sheets falling to his lap and pooling there. His breathing was erratic, still lost in whatever hell he had just experienced.

“Dean?”

At the familiar, desperately missed voice, Dean’s head shot to his left.

And there, miraculously, his angel sat. He could feel tears beginning to form in sheer relief and elation at the mere sight of him.

Castiel was sitting upright in a position mirroring Dean’s own, a look of concern etched into his features. He was staring at Dean with his signature, intense gaze, his eyes showing clear signs of worry. He had one hand gripped to Dean’s elbow tightly, as though he had been trying to physically pull him out of his headspace while simultaneously anchoring him to the present.

“Cas?” Dean frantically searched his face, checking for signs that he was really there. “Cas... I—” he gasped in a few breaths, unable to speak.

“Dean, just breathe. You’re alright.” His free hand circled over Dean’s lower back comfortingly. “You were having a nightmare.”

Dean could barely process his words, still awestruck to see Castiel alive and well beside him.

After he had sufficiently collected himself, Dean brought a hand up to cup Castiel’s cheek, the stubble he found there prickling under his palm.

“You’re okay?”

Castiel squinted at him, confused as always. His own hand soon found its way to Dean’s, holding it against his face.

“Yes, Dean. I’m fine. _You’re_ the one I’m worried about right now.”

Dean’s eyes scanned over Castiel’s face again. He was so, so glad to see him. His eyes had started to burn from the unshed tears. In that moment, he couldn’t find himself to care any less about being too vulnerable or sensitive. He just wanted to take Castiel in with as much reverence as he desired.

His angel.

He had missed him so damn much.

At the emotional turmoil evident in his features, Castiel frowned and removed Dean’s hand from his face to hold it in his lap instead.

“Dean?” he prompted, “Are you alright?”

Dean sighed and closed his eyes against the unpleasant slideshow of events that had occurred in his dream. His _nightmare_. Images of him dying in that stupid barn. Of Sam mourning him. Of a heaven without Castiel waiting for his arrival. They flashed through his mind viciously.

It had felt so real.

He swallowed against it and cleared his head.

That wasn’t reality.

After a moment, he allowed the truth to flow in. Scenes of what had actually transpired.

_Cas telling him that he loved him and then sacrificing himself to save Dean._

_Defeating Chuck with Sam, and then Jack becoming God._

_Rescuing Cas from the Empty with Jack’s assistance._

_Pulling him out of that abyss and wrapping his arms around the angel in the tightest embrace possible._

_Telling Cas that he could have this. That he already had it. That he had always had Dean._

_Finally getting the chance to say: “I love you, too.”_

He forced the terrible nightmare out of his mind and smiled.

“I’m fine, Cas."

Castiel stared at him blankly.

“You know,” he began, unconvinced, “when I ask you that question, I’m not asking because I want you to lie to me or make me feel better. I’m asking because I care about you, Dean.”

“I know, I know. I am alright, though. That was just the worst dream I’ve had in my entire life.”

Castiel looked at Dean sympathetically and squeezed his hand. “Will you tell me about it?”

Dean sighed and shifted their fingers so that they were now intertwined.

“Everything happened the same, up until Jack became God. In the dream, we— we never got you out of the Empty. It was just Sam and me, acting like things were normal. Even though we knew you were suffering in there? It looked like we were at peace, but how could we have been? Without you? Without Jack? It didn’t make sense. And then— and then I died? In a barn. From being impaled by a rusty piece of rebar during some random hunt. And so... so then Sam had to live out the rest of his days completely alone.”

He exhaled shakily. Even though the nightmare was ridiculous, it still felt a little too real to laugh about.

“And the worst part is— I went to heaven, and you weren’t there.”

He had been staring at their hands the entire time he recounted the dream, and when he finally looked up, he found Castiel’s eyes shining with tears, his mouth quivering.

“Dean—“

“I know. It’s dumb—“

“ _Dean_.” He pulled him tightly against himself, hugging Dean like his life depended on it. Dean felt like his own life did depend on it.

Dean brought his arms around his waist and enjoyed the closeness, waiting for him to speak again.

“Having a reaction to a nightmare is _not_ dumb.” His words were laced with both empathy and affection. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that alone.”

Dean hummed against his neck. “I’m just glad I’m awake now.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s warm skin. “This is a hell of a lot better than heaven.”

Castiel sighed contentedly. “I agree.”

Dean reveled in the feeling of Castiel against him. In the wonder of getting to have this after years of thinking he couldn’t. After years of thinking he didn’t deserve it.

He still wasn’t sure he deserved it.

After a moment, Castiel pulled back a bit, peering thoughtfully into Dean’s eyes.

“Cas?”

“I just— I want to reiterate that what you saw _was_ a dream, Dean. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’m right here.”

“Promise?”

Castiel nodded instantly, leaving no room for mistake. “I promise.”

“You promise you’re never gonna throw yourself headfirst into the Empty seconds after confessing your undying love for me again?”

Castiel groaned. “I did that to protect you.”

“I know.” Dean pulled his hand up to his lips and pressed a kiss to it in gratitude. “And I will never be able to repay you for all of the times you’ve taken a hit to keep me or my brother alive. But I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for me ever again. You hear me?”

“Well... I’m hoping that we won’t find ourselves in situations that require sacrifices in the future.”

They both knew that the answer was a cop-out, but it also worked. For now, at least. They were cautiously optimistic that, with the universe under Jack’s control, they could finally move on and enjoy life without the burden of being one of the select few responsible for keeping humanity alive.

“Cas...”

Detecting a serious note to Dean’s tone, Castiel sat farther back and placed a little distance between them, awaiting his next words.

Dean smiled at his earnest expression and took his face into both hands. He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before leaning his own against it.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, his eyes shut tightly against the emotion. “In the— in the dream, I never got to tell you.” His voice came out broken and desperate. “I just... I need you to know that. That you’re everything to me.”

“Dean, I do know,” he said definitively, his lips mere inches away from Dean’s own.

Dean released the breath he’d been holding and felt himself smile in relief. “Good. That’s— that’s good.”

When he opened his eyes again, it was to an amused expression on Castiel’s face. A small smile and a minute head tilt, as though Dean was an idiot for even worrying about this in the first place. They had practically been living in each other’s pockets ever since he’d returned from the Empty and Dean had told him that his feelings were reciprocated.

“I love you, too.” Castiel said, the words honeyed and sincere. They washed over Dean with a balming effect, healing all his anxieties, however unfounded they may be. He would never grow tired of hearing them from the angel’s lips. Couldn’t believe they were meant for him and only him.

“Please, try to forget your nightmare, Dean. There is no place you can go that I won’t follow.”

And this— this Dean knew to be true. The two of them would always find each other. They would follow each other to the ends of the earth if necessary.

They _have_ followed each other to the ends of the earth.

Suddenly, the air between them felt electric. Like any abrupt movement would result in a lightning strike. It had always been this way between the two of them, the tension thick and unrelenting, begging for someone to make a move.

Dean could no longer resist.

He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against Castiel’s in a kiss that somehow made time both stop and speed up.

He let Castiel invade all of his senses, completely intoxicating him in a way that wholly eclipsed all memories of his nightmare. 

His heart beat happily between them as Castiel twisted his fingers into Dean’s shirt, tilting his head to allow him a better angle. Without breaking the kiss, he moved to sit atop Dean’s lap, his arms draping over Dean’s shoulders as he let him in, tongue slipping past his lips. 

The feeling of Castiel’s warm breath and soft moans against him was the heaven Dean had always imagined for himself. Much better than his dream, in which the angel was notably absent.

After a moment of bliss, Dean pulled back and pressed a trail of sweet kisses from Castiel’s shoulder to his neck as he laughed under his lips.

“You are the only dream I ever want to come true.”

Castiel’s hand came up to cup Dean’s face gently. A soft smile graced his lips.

“I’m not a dream, Dean. You can have this. You do have this. You have _me_.”

Dean grinned at the recycling of his own words.

“ _That_ better be a promise.”

“It is. For as long as you want me.”

Dean kissed him once, quickly, just for the sake of it.

“Always,” he said, his emotion coloring the single word with complete sincerity. “I’ll always want you. You won’t ever be getting rid of me, not if I can help it. Wild horses and all that.”

Castiel squinted his eyes, tilting his head one more time for good measure. “Wild horses?”

Dean shook his head, hopelessly endeared. “Never mind. Just— let’s go find Sam.”

“Sam? What for?”

“I need to tell him that if he’s planning on living to an old age, he’s gonna need to get a haircut at some point. It looked like he was wearing a damn dollar store wig in my dream.”

Unceremoniously, he got up and offered a hand to Castiel. The angel, still confused as ever, accepted it happily and followed Dean out of the room, content to go anywhere so long as they were together.

**Author's Note:**

> ah, I love this community and how we've taken it upon ourselves to say "no <3" to the finale! it's truly a found family like the one in the show that the writers completely failed to include or mention at all in the finale hehe. I have seriously appreciated every single fix-it fic I've read thus far and can't wait to read more! this was just my personal take. thank you for reading! :)
> 
> tumblr: kaysars-fbi-hat  
> let's talk!


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